


Litter London with Lonely Hearts

by Elanor



Category: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-16
Updated: 2012-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-31 06:44:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elanor/pseuds/Elanor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter's boyfriend, we have decided, is named Henry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Litter London with Lonely Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moosewingz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moosewingz/gifts).



It is perhaps one of the hardest things Peter has ever done.

*

Peter can feel the pain, the tears, the ache threatening to swell up and spill over the edges of his self-control. It's better that Henry thinks there's someone else, he tells himself, it's better that way. He is secret, he is safe. It's best like this, Peter tells himself, for Henry's sake.

But Peter has never been the most unselfish of people and he desperately wants Henry back, misses him horribly and in a truly sappy way, hates it when he wakes up in the morning to a too-large bed, late for work because Henry wasn't there to annoyingly pull the covers off him and coax him back into good spirits with pancakes and sticky syrup kisses on the cheek.

(Peter hated those syrup kisses, complained about them incessantly, scrubbed them off with a damp cloth as soon as he got them, but now he misses them dreadfully, misses the way Henry would grin impishly at him and he'd grimace back. He is aware of how much of a sap he is, but he does.)

No, Peter tells himself. No. He will do the right thing, sacrifice this for Henry's safety, and he clamps down on the edges of his ragged heart, hard and ruthlessly.

*

He doesn't know whether it makes it better or worse that Henry doesn't try to contact him.

*

Everything reminds him of Henry. Peter can't untangle the threads of their lives, and he thinks that he doesn't really want to. The flat has too many pictures of them smiling and happy on holiday (there's one of them at the seaside, Henry happy bathing in the sun and Peter an angry red sunburnt colour), too many reminders that once his life was shared with someone else. Henry's socks are still in their drawer, jumbled together unlike Peter's carefully rolled and arranged ones; there's that old and dented cast iron pan Henry insists on using because his grandmother gave it to him when he went to uni. Peter can't bear to look at them, but neither can he bear to begin the process of throwing it away, hiding it all, because he's never ever wanted to hide Henry, never been ashamed about the way he feels about him. He's always wanted to announce from the rooftops of London that Henry is part of his life, embedded in his heart, and he is proud.

*

The assignment over, Peter gathers up the last shattered fragments of his courage and goes to knock on Henry's door.

Peter supposes he shouldn't really be surprised when Henry's mother slams the door in his face.

*

The next time he has flowers and it's Henry that opens the door, looking so tired and worn that Peter forgets everything he'd carefully planned out to say. He thrusts the flowers awkwardly at Henry, garbling something about "sorry" and "there isn't anyone else I love you" and--

Henry punches him in the face.

And then he drags him up off the pavement by his lapels and kisses him hard on the mouth.

*

(As it turns out, Peter isn't the most subtle and secret of people when drunk or sleeping, and Henry had known about his spying for years. This doesn't mean that Henry isn't incredibly angry with Peter, and it doesn't mean it doesn't take them weeks to work through it, but it does skip the awkward excuses part.)

*

When Daisy is born, Henry produces a tiny alphabet jumper he'd been knitting in secret and also a miniature trench coat and fedora. Wrapping his arm around Peter's waist and leaning up to give him a kiss, he grins at Peter and says, "Like father, like daughter, hm?"


End file.
